In my previous post I talked about how each of unique gifts that God gave us to use for His glory. Have you ever allowed yourself to dream about how God might use you and your unique gifts for His glory? I can honestly say I didn’t until it felt like dreams were all I had.
I have blogged before that there was a very dark period in life, where I lost my way, and quite honestly almost lost myself. As I was working past this place, I began to really think about my purpose/calling. I started wondering what kind of career did I really want? I began looking for jobs in the area and was not finding one.
So what did I do? I know this is going to sound like the church girl answer, but it really wasn’t for me. I was invited to attend a woman’s Bible study in a friend’s home. To be perfectly honest, at first, there were weeks my parents had to push me out the door. You see, I was still recovering from my time in the dark place.
I believe that in spite of the lingering “darkness”, there was a part of me that desperately wanted to have a sense of belonging and purpose. The reason is I kept going each week. The wonderful woman who was leading the study was going through a transition of her own. It was because of something she said one night that I decided to write a poem. I had written a lot when I was younger, I even wrote some poetry in my teen years, but somewhere along the way, I had forgotten how much I loved to write.
How many of us do that? Somewhere along this journey called life, we forget the gifts we once had, or the activities we used to love. There are a million possible reasons why? For me, I think it was growing up. As I said before I wrote some in high school. Then college happened, in between classes, studying, and my many extra- curricular activities, I found very little time to write.
Who would have thought a dear sister going through a transition, would inspire me to write again. Only God.
As a result of writing this poem, and my continued joblessness, I started thinking again. Was there something I could do while I could not find a job in the community. God began speaking to me, “Yes. Sarah there is.” “What God? You can write. Almost immediately, I started giving Him excuses, “but God I am only me, a small town girl. No one would want to read what I wrote. ” I felt Him say, “do it anyway?” So I did. My book of poetry began as a result of this discussion with God.
Although, my book remains unfinished. The dream of being a writer is far from over. If it had not been for that dream, the one I didn’t even realize I had, I would not be here writing today.
My encouragement for you today, is that even when you feel as if you don’t where you are or why you are there? God does!! He knows exactly where you are and why are there? So even when it is hard, do your best to trust Him and He will take care of the rest. You never what kind of amazing dreams… He will show you are hidden away in your heart and mind.
I will close this post with the poem that started my dream of being a writer…
“Lonely not Alone”
How is it that I can be so lonely and yet not be alone?
I thought that loneliness could only happen when you are alone.
Yet here I am in this crowded place….
That might as well be an empty space.
I feel so disconnected from those around me,
Even though they encircle and surround me.
Would someone please tell me how I ended up here?
Better yet, tell me how I can get back to there?
Where is there you might ask?
There is where everyone else seems to be,
Every one else it seems but me.
I feel so lost and lonely,
Like there is no one but me here, me only.
Then I look up toward Heaven.
And He shines His light,
That chases away my dark loneliness,
In its place there is only light.
He tells me that He will never leave me alone,
In Him, I found a peace like I have never known.
It is overwhelming to know as long as I trust in Him,
Though I may feel lonely, I will never be truly alone again.