Hesitantly obedient…Do I have to bloom?

Have you ever felt that nudge to do something, but you’re hesitant.

Maybe someone that you love says, “I think you’d be really good at ____________.

Almost automatically the buts begin…..

But I don’t have the time to do _______.

But I am just plain, ordinary me.

But I am not talented, qualified, or _____ enough to do that.

I often find myself getting into this kind of conversation with God.  God nudges me, to step out in faith, yet I still hesitate.  Why is that? Because almost automatically the doubts, and fears abound.

Truthfully, if I were God I don’t know if I’d choose me. Especially when it comes leading anyone or anything.   Why not you may ask? Let’s just say it doesn’t come naturally to me.     I am a introverted extrovert.

For most of my life, I’ve tried so hard to make myself fit.  I can’t tell you how many times I would ask God why? Why can’t I just be like everyone else?  God always seemed to say, “but daughter you are not supposed to fit. I made you to stand out on purpose.”  Meanwhile, I did my best to stay quiet and serve behind the scenes while trying not to draw attention to myself.

Until as recently as last year, i was completely comfortable. I was serving on two teams in an amazing ministry. Both of which were behind the scenes.  All was right in the world.

Then the nudge happened… It started as this small idea I just casually mentioned to my team leader. As soon as the words,” you know I wish there was a small group like the ones we serve in my hometown”, I knew I was in trouble.  You see my plate was already pretty full.    I was/am serving in a ministry that I absolutely love!! You may have heard of it, it’s called Proverbs 31 Ministries.  More specifically, Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies.  Whoohoo! OBS rocks!! I have a full time job, which I love! Besides my energy level isn’t what it used to be…

So you see God even if I really wanted to I could not possibly lead a small group.  Not to mention I had never done it before, not by myself anyway. All the while, God was saying, “daughter, all you have to do is take the first step, and I will do the rest.” “I will help you bloom”.

Yet God just wouldn’t let it go.   After many wrestling matches/conversations with God, I stepped and invited a few friends over to do Bible study together.  Still I felt God gently nudging me to take another step of faith. So I opened up the next study to my church family.  Guess what happened? God showed up!!  The previous small group was 2-3 people.  Our most recent study had 12-15 ladies.

If God is calling you take a step of faith or bloom, I hope that my story has encouraged you.

12 thoughts on “Hesitantly obedient…Do I have to bloom?

  1. samanthalandrus says:

    So exciting to take the step God calls us too! Thank you for sharing. My husband and I are rolling out a lifegroup tonight. The butterflies are starting to roll! Thank you for the reminder that God will show up. Cause I really need him too!

  2. Meg Gemelli says:

    Blooming can be terrifying!! It seems like the older I get, the more I notice that if I’m terrified, it’s what God is calling me to. I suppose a little nervous anticipation takes pride out of the equation, which is the point! We get to trust that He’s got it! Thank you for your honesty and for coming out on the other side, remembering to reach a hand back so the rest of us can follow your lead! Blessings:)

    • sarahalsop81 says:

      Meg,

      Thank you so much for stopping by and encouraging me. Stepping out in faith can be terrifying it’s true. It is very encouraging to know that can even use our terror, isn’t it? I had not thought about it as a way to take pride out of the equation, but it is true. Thank you for the reminder that sometimes God has to remove something to bless us.

  3. Astrid says:

    I totally understand having a full plate yet somehow God calling you to do more- not to exhaust you but to bless you. Cheering you in in stepping out of your comfort zone. Some of my best times have been leading small groups. #livefree

    • sarahalsop81 says:

      Astrid,

      You are so right about God calling us to do more-not to exhaust us but to bless us. Although leading the small group does take energy, like everything else. I am finding that my small group energizes me though. Thank you for stopping by to encourage me.

  4. kristine says:

    Heehee, I love this! Do I have to bloom? You are so right. When God wants to break us out of our comfort zone, we hesitate! I’m so thankful today that God is patient with me when I hesitate:) Blessings!

  5. Suzie Eller says:

    I love your question: Do I have to bloom? And I love your response of yes, I get to bloom so I can watch what God does with that “yes.”❤ Thanks for linking up on #livefreeThursday!

    • sarahalsop81 says:

      Suzie, I am so excited you stopped by my blog!! I never would have guessed that when I met you at She Speaks last year that I would end up part of this amazing group of women. This is what happens when women say yes to God❤ Hey wait, that's an awesome book!! Hehehe!! Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this amazing community and linkup. Hope to see you at She Speaks in July🙂

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